


However improbable

by Ghosts_Writer



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post- HLV, canon compliant (sort of), twist - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-23 15:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3772810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghosts_Writer/pseuds/Ghosts_Writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it impossible, or just improbable? That's the main question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	However improbable

**Author's Note:**

> Writing block. Here's a tiny something inbetween. Don't really know were it came from, don't know if there'll be more (though anything's possible with enough encouragement)

_What do we say about coincidences? ___

__Mycroft's voice was never welcome but in this instance Sherlock truly hated it. Had he been ignoring his own rule? Had he been this blind all the time?_ _

__It seemed impossible. However, the longer he considered it, maybe it was more improbable than impossible. There were several solutions and the biggest question was:which is the most probable of all the impossible solutions._ _

__He stepped closer to the wall that held the timeline and tapped the first date._ _

___Jeffrey Hope’s first murder ____ _

____Frowning slightly Sherlock pulled up another timeline in his mind palace, aligning it with the one on the wall._ _ _ _

_____Jeffrey Hope’s first murder --- Approximately one week after John’s return to London_ _ _ _ _

_____Jeffrey Hope’s fourth murder --- The day Sherlock and John were introduced by Mike Stamford_ _ _ _ _

____Sherlock couldn’t help but break his concentration and lose his internal timeline. It couldn’t have been planned, could it? There was just no way anyone could have planned for them to meet exactly as they did...but then, would Hope have killed his fourth victim if John and Sherlock hadn’t met? Maybe he needed to look at it from a different perspective. Maybe he needed to stop trying to disprove it._ _ _ _

_____The day Sherlock and John were introduced by Mike Stamford ---- Jeffrey Hope’s fourth murder_ _ _ _ _

_____John shoots Hope to save Sherlock --- Hope gives up Moriarty’s name just a bit too easily_ _ _ _ _

____Sherlock stepped along the wall, tapping the dates posted and comparing them to those in his mind palace, finding more and more fitting together._ _ _ _

____“Took you long enough.”_ _ _ _

____The voice behind him was not entirely unexpected and yet he found himself surprised. He expected Moriarty to come find him sooner or later and he had expected him not to be the man they all knew as Jim Moriarty and yet, he was actually surprised, no, shocked, no, terrified._ _ _ _

____“I always wondered when you’d figure it out.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock turned reluctantly. There was no irish lilt, no slicked back dark hair, no Westwood suit and yet there was no rational doubt in his mind that the man standing there was indeed the man behind Moriarty._ _ _ _

____“Why?” He asked, his throat dry and rough._ _ _ _

____“Why not?” The master criminal grinned, a slight upturn of one corner of his mouth. “I’ve had many reasons, Sherlock. Most of it came down to...I was bored.” he shrugged. “You, though,” he continued, pointing at Sherlock and taking several steps into the flat, his grin widening, “you got me rid off boredom, didn’t you?”_ _ _ _

____“I...I don’t understand.”_ _ _ _

____The criminal laughed. “What was it Charles so pointedly said? You should put that on a t-shirt.” His blue eyes darkened slightly. “He was a useful man, Charles Augustus Magnussen, though obviously he didn’t know everything either. He’d have known better than to flick the face of what both you and Mycroft described as the most dangerous criminal in Britain.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock closed his eyes briefly, willing the man in front of him to change forms and almost instantly hating himself for sentiment and irrationality. The chuckle he then heard was familiar - and in his mind connected with warmth, friendship and a feeling of home - and yet completely strange to him. He opened his eyes slowly to gaze at the face of his best friend, the man he knew as John Hamish Watson, war hero and doctor, friend to him, husband and soon to be father and he wondered how much of it was true._ _ _ _

____“You didn’t plan for me to shoot Magnussen, though.” Sherlock pointed out._ _ _ _

____“No.” John admitted. “I actually planned on dealing with him in a more subtle way that wouldn’t put you into that unfortunate position.” He sighed. “You did force me to pull out my joker. I had to make Moriarty reappear.”_ _ _ _

____“So...you’re not Moriarty?”_ _ _ _

____John laughed heartedly. “Oh, Sherlock. Moriarty was nothing but a character. A pawn in this game of chess. He was a tool I was ready to sacrifice as soon as a better opportunity presented.”_ _ _ _

____“I saw him blow out his brain!” Sherlock retorted. “He was dead. Someone killed himself on that roof playing your _character_!” he pointed out._ _ _ _

____“Oh, yes, Mark was quite useful. Such a talented actor. Obviously we told him it was a blank in the gun.” John smirked. “Well, I didn’t, he only ever saw me as John Watson and that was at the pool and in court.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock blinked rapidly, his head feeling light and he sank down in his chair. “Why, John?”, he asked again._ _ _ _

____John sighed deeply, nodding to himself before sitting in his chair. “You know what it’s like having a brain much too great, Sherlock. All my life I was bored. I noticed that I could use my brain for something fun when I killed Carl. Honestly, I just wanted to make him stop laughing. He was just another bully picking on the smallest boy. Every day I’d come home with a black eye, and every day my parents and my teachers would tell me the same thing: One day being smart will be better than being big. One day I’ll show him by being smart. So I was smart. Clostridium botulinum. You have to give me that, for a twelve year old that was really smart.”_ _ _ _

____“Not just for a twelve year old.” Sherlock admitted, making John smile, which in turn almost made Sherlock smile._ _ _ _

____“Well, anyway, that’s where I started. I realized that if I used my brain just a little and let other people do the dirty work, nothing ever got back to me and I had everything I wanted. I had money, I had power, and I could have any girl or boy I wanted. Sometimes I had the biggest jock at school suck me off just because I knew I could make them.” John shrugged, sounding bored. “It did become dull, though. I got through school and uni being the king in the shadows and yet I felt so utterly bored. It didn’t challenge me, do you see? So, I thought what’s a bigger challenge than to run my little business while being thousands of miles away?”_ _ _ _

____John grinned again as he leaned back in his chair. “Afghanistan was so much fun, Sherlock, you have no idea. All the dirt, the blood. I could shoot fellow soldiers in the back and nobody ever knew.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock swallowed hard. “If you really are the man behind all of this,” he gestured vaguely towards the timeline on the wall, “explain why you had me jump. Why did you let me dismantle your network? Why did you marry when I came back? It can’t all have been to cure you off your boredom.”_ _ _ _

____“As usually, Sherlock, you didn’t listen to me. You got me rid off my boredom. My motivation after I met you changed completely. I invented puzzles for _you._ I let Moriarty kill himself to be rid off him. I let you jump so you would go and dismantle _Moriarty’s_ network. I never lost track of you, Sherlock. I always knew where you were and I always made sure you’d get out alive.”_ _ _ _

____The detective frowned at his arch enemy slash best friend. “But...why?”_ _ _ _

____John sighed and for the first time since he entered the flat he actually looked like the army doctor again. “Well, that brings me to the reason I got married. I’ve been flaunting around this very flat,” John gestured around himself in a manner much more Moriarty than Watson, “giving you everything you need and yet you proved to be the blindest amongst them all.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock’s mouth opened in shock on its own before he had a chance to correct himself. “What is that supposed to mean?”_ _ _ _

____John snorted, “With all your brilliant deductions you have a massive blind spot, Sherlock and that’s your own damn feelings! I’m a bit observant myself, as you might have noticed in my alter ego more than in the version living with you, but I didn’t turn a blind eye on either you or myself. I rather quickly realized that my fascination with you turned into something deeper and more profound.” His expression actually turned rather sad then, making the detective wonder if this was an act. “I would have changed, Sherlock. I would have left it all behind if it meant having you.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock deliberately didn’t react to this. His mind, however, was whirling. Could this be true? Was John actually Moriarty _and_ in love with him _and_ willing to change just for him? No, not all of those statements could possibly be true, could they?_ _ _ _

____“I gave you distractions when you needed them, puzzles and an arch enemy, a real one instead of your brother. At home I made you tea, I made sure you eat and sleep. I gave up Moriarty’s network and made arrangements to meet Mary Morstan, a woman whose identity was as fake as her blonde hair. I had all the information I needed to get rid off her the moment you finally realized that you love me, but you didn’t. Or rather you did but still you didn’t do anything. You found out that she had lied to me and you still tried to protect me.” John stood from his chair, pacing the room between the chair and the couch._ _ _ _

____“You, Sherlock Holmes, are the real mystery.” John turned to fix his gaze on Sherlock. “You call yourself a high-functioning sociopath, you pretend you know nothing about love, you go ahead and ignore all your feelings, and yet, it seems that you understand love so much better than anyone else.”_ _ _ _

____“I think you might find people disagreeing with you there.” Sherlock argued._ _ _ _

____“And as you have pointed out so many time, people are idiots.” John continued. “You do love me, Sherlock, and you understood that if you truly loved me you want to make me happy, instead of just wanting me for yourself.”_ _ _ _

____“I might have loved the John Watson I used to know.” Sherlock said, his voice deliberately hard, his comment meant to hurt the man who lied to him ever since he knew him, and yet, there was pain in his voice, too._ _ _ _

____John smirked, “You _do_ love me, Sherlock. You are in love with the man bringing you tea in the morning. And you’re in love with the man bringing you puzzles when you’re bored. You fell in love with John Watson and with Jim Moriarty. You fell in love with _me_ , Sherlock. I could give you the world. I could be anything you want me to be. I can be Jim Moriarty, I can be John Watson. Whatever you want, you can have it.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock turned his gaze to the fireplace. “I don’t even know you anymore, John.” He glanced up at blue eyes, so familiar it was unnerving. “I don’t want to have an illusion. I don’t want a _character_.”_ _ _ _

____“Then have me. I am that man, Sherlock. I am both those men.” John pointed out, then relented, “ok, maybe I’m something between those men.”_ _ _ _

____“You’re a psychopath.”_ _ _ _

____“Pot meet kettle.”_ _ _ _

____“Sociopath.”_ _ _ _

____John laughed, and for some unknown reason Sherlock couldn’t help but join in._ _ _ _

____“This is the most ridiculous situation I’ve ever been in.” Sherlock said._ _ _ _

____“And you jumped off St. Barts.” John grinned at him._ _ _ _

____“That was your fault! And you punched me for it. You made me work for your forgiveness!” Sherlock accused._ _ _ _

____“Terribly sorry about that, love, but it was fun to see you struggle.” John’s grin widened. “You surely remember what you said when I supposedly found out about Mary. That she was that way because I chose her. You do realize that I am what I am because you chose me, don’t you?”_ _ _ _

____“Did I now?” Sherlock asked, his voice monotone._ _ _ _

____“What was it you said so fittingly. You are abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. That’s not just correct about me, is it?” John continued conversationally. “Actually going in for a dare to take a possibly poisoned pill, going after all those criminals on your own, and don’t even get me started on the drugs.”_ _ _ _

____Sherlock avoided his eyes, gaze fixed on the fireplace. “I don’t even know your name.”_ _ _ _

____“Is John Watson good enough for you?”_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I left the ending open for two reasons:  
> 1\. I can't decide whether to go on and have Sherlock decide or leave it here.  
> 2\. I can't decide how Sherlock would decide.


End file.
